Are you stuck with you son? Is he acting out, unmotivated, or withdrawn? I can help break through unhealthy patterns.
From Boy to Man
Historically, humans have marked the transition from boyhood to manhood with community-wide rituals. The day before, he was a boy, playing with other children. The next day, he was a man, hunting and fighting with other men. The identity and role transition was well-defined. In today’s complex society, there is no clear transition path to adulthood and the rights and responsibilities that come with it.
The process of becoming an adult is further complicated by the timing of different maturational aspects, such as the physical, emotional, and intelligence components. Add to that the confusing messages from the media, availability of drugs and alcohol, video games, bullying, and dual-earner families, and it is no wonder that most adolescents find themselves struggling come into their new identity.
I find that most young men have a deep need to talk in a safe environment about their hurts and fears. When motivated, they do good work and make healthy changes relatively quickly. As with adults, the rate of improvement correlates closely with motivation.
For those who appear unmotivated, or have been distracted by drugs or alcohol, change may come more slowly. Nonetheless, in these situations, treatment is even more important. In these cases, peer group has often become vastly more influential than parents. I believe that these kids have a deep hurt they are trying to distract themselves from. Treatment consists of building trust, exploring the hurt, developing better ways of coping with it.
Outcomes are best when additional family members participate in the therapeutic process. This means attending the occasional family session and engaging in homework assignments when requested. There is always a family system component to child behavior problems. Getting everyone in the room allows me to experience family dynamics first hand, and allows you to get feedback from an objective, professional outsider.
A talk on being a man by Joe Ehrmann, former pro football and coach.