Mindfulness is a central concept in creating change. We tend to think that we already know what we are doing, thinking, and feeling. However, an almost universal experience of those who start practicing mindfulness is that they become aware of how little they really know about themselves.
When we are not mindful of our experiences, we are just reacting to our life situation. We just do the same thing we always do. The first step in change is becoming aware of exactly what it is that we are doing. If we are not aware of what we are doing, then we are very unlikely to make any changes. With practice, we start to gain insight into our own reaction and thought patterns. At that point, we gain some freedom in the sense that we have the option of responding wisely to the situation instead of reacting habitually to it.
Sometimes, our wise decision is difficult to implement, maybe because it goes against our habit or involves making someone else uncomfortable. This is where mindfulness helps us to hold our best intention in attention long enough to see it through.
Resources on mindfulness are readily available online. By far, the best option is to formally practice it, such as with daily meditation or a retreat. Please contact me if you are interested in consultation or instruction.