Growing up I learned how to be a man mostly from the kids in the schoolyard. I learned that being a man meant being tough, not showing weakness, picking on weaker kids, and bragging about sexual conquests. I wasn’t particularly good at any of these things, so I decided to reject masculinity. I didn’t wan’t to be anything like the male image I saw. This lasted for decades, until I came across men’s work. Here I learned that the male I saw on the playground, on the sports field, and at war is really a distortion of the mature masculine. The domination we see in men around the world comes from a place of fear and insecurity. Our world is full of men like this, who have taken on a distorted masculinity, waging war and destruction. It is also full of men like I was, men who have disowned all masculinity as bad.
Rare is the ideal mature man, who comes from a place of love and power. His priorities are based on love, not fear. He uses his power to realize his love-based values. He is a lover and a warrior. One of the groups doing men’s work is the ManKind Project. It offers men around the world an opportunity to connect with other men in a very real and challenging way. Here is a video about some of the work they do.
I recommend this type of work for all men, and all boys who are becoming men.
ManKind Project Video