Growing up I learned how to be a man mostly from the kids in the schoolyard.  I learned that being a man meant being tough, not showing weakness, picking on weaker kids, and bragging about sexual conquests.  I wasn’t particularly good at any of these things, so I decided to reject masculinity.  I didn’t wan’t to be anything like the male image I saw.  This lasted for decades, until I came across men’s work.  Here I learned that the male I saw on the playground, on the sports field, and at war is really a distortion of the mature masculine.  The domination we see in men around the world comes from a place of fear and insecurity.  Our world is full of men like this, who have taken on a distorted masculinity, waging war and destruction.  It is also full of men like I was, men who have disowned all masculinity as bad.

Rare is the ideal mature man, who comes from a place of love and power.  His priorities are based on love, not fear.  He uses his power to realize his love-based values.  He is a lover and a warrior.  One of the groups doing men’s work is the ManKind Project.  It offers men around the world an opportunity to connect with other men in a very real and challenging way.  Here is a video about some of the work they do.

I recommend this type of work for all men, and all boys who are becoming men.

ManKind Project Video

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